A lot of really emotionally distressing things are going on in my life right now. As I mentioned before, I'm a senior in high school. The year is starting to wind down now, and I've had to make a lot of really big decisions. The biggest tow being where I'm going to college in the fall and learning to drive. Yep, you read that last one right.
Driving terrifies me, which is why I put it off this long. It's not really memorizing all the rules, though I still can't remember them all, or not having any skill. I've made it all the way through an industrial parkway near our house without hitting anything; I can turn, back out, and stop for stop signs fairly accurately. But I have no confidence in my ability, not to mention I'm a complete perfectionist. I can't stand it when I don't do something perfectly, especially something as dangerous as piloting 2-odd tons of steel. With my mind, one time losing my focus could end someones life.
But enough negativity. I've thought it over, and I'll be staying in the industrial parkway until I am confident that my skills will not hurt anyone. I have till August. Wish me luck
Poem I enjoyed writing (written in a black mood about a behavior I abhor)
Senator
You
walk in at the end of the night with your secretaries
On
your arms, smiling and nodding at everything you say.
You
stroll down to the end of the hallway, shake hand with the other execs,
Smile. Eat the pizza.
Leave.
You
did your part. It all went down
smoothly;
Even
more smoothly for you when you didn’t have to see
The
people that smell of cigarette smoke and drive rusty cars
And
thank us as we fill their trunks and backseats with their Christmas dinners
While
you were home eating and wrapping expensive gifts.
Because
in the end, you don’t care about them.
You said it, once, but
Saying
it means nothing if your actions betray you,
As
was said to an equally arrogant prince by the heroine.
I’m
no heroine, though.
So,
as I watch you smile and wave to your adoring public,
I
let you keep the thought that seems to guide your actions:
Why
does it matter that others do the work and the worry, starve and strive and act
human,
As
long as I get the attention I deserve?
For
you, we doesn't matter
And
never will.
Keep
up the good work, sir. See you in Washington.
I’ll
be the one on the other side of the picket line.
